Heisui’s Thoughts: Would I ever stop drama blogging? Is it worth it?

Drama BloggingHeisui's ThoughtsOther

Recently one of my friends asked me “Would you ever stop drama blogging?”.   This post is a reflection on my journey throughout these past 5 years of drama blogging:

Honestly, in the past, I used to be both proud yet also insecure about my blog.  I have always been proud of how much I accomplished with my blog, and of course, I’ve enjoyed my hobby all these years.  But, I was still scared that others would view my blogging about dramas as a waste of time, that they would discover that I used to be a total spazz, that they would deem me weird for enjoying Asian dramas, etc.  I didn’t even want to say that I blogged for fear that people would ask for the link.  How could I say “I don’t want you to have the link”?!?

I have many reasons for why I didn’t share my blog with a lot of people.  One of the reasons is I was scared of judgment.  I used to think that this was because of how others would react.  But in the end, it was all just me judging myself and jumping to assumptions about others.  I have shared my blog with some more people whom I know in “real life”.  These people have been supportive of my blog.  My fears were unfounded.  I learned that I can be proud of my hobby without these insecurities.  It’s fine to keep my blog and my identity to myself if I want to–I’m not obligated to share the link or my identity with anyone.  But I can share it if I want to.

Sometimes I ask myself if dramas are worth it, if my blog is worth it.  I doubted myself.  Sometimes a part of me would whisper “It’s just entertainment” and question “What am I doing with my time?”.  This year, I have come to believe wholeheartedly that I have no regrets with my blog.  I started out not even knowing if I would remain a blogger.  But I ended up going all the way.  If I had never started my blog, I never would’ve known how far I could’ve come.

A lot of good has come out of my blog.  For one, my writing voice developed a lot.  I used to be a total spazz, writing in all caps so much, going LOLOLOL and AWWWWWWW and ROFL ROFL.  X_X”  I used to watch dramas to procrastinate, de-stress, and turn off my brain for a while.  I eventually transitioned to analyzing dramas on a deeper level.  Turning off my brain was not enough for me.  I had to think deeply about what I was watching.  I had to get more out of it.  Yes everyone, I recently came to the somewhat horrific (just kidding) realization that I have basically been doing the same thing I was taught to do in my English classes:  I have been happily writing “essays” analyzing stories.  Of my own volition!  And I used to hate writing essays!

Another great thing that happened through my blog is I got to connect with a lot of people from all around the world.  While these connections are sometimes only momentary, it still feels great to know how far-reaching my writing can be.  I’ve also gotten to know some great people–I likely would have never even known they exist if I had not gotten into drama blogging.

Lastly, I accomplished things I never thought I would with my blog.  If I went back in time 5 years and told myself, “You will write 500+ posts, have over 500 subscribers, write about Itazura na Kiss for the Drama Fever Drama Club, host a give away, move your blog to self-hosting, get x amount of pageviews, etc. etc.” I don’t think I would’ve believed it.  “Who, me?  No way.” I would’ve said.  YES, YOU!

There’s a saying that people will come into your life for a reason, a season, or a lifetime.  I think it’s the same for blogs.  For many bloggers, blogs represent a certain time period within their lives.  So far, my blog has been with me for a season of 5 years.  The real question is: “How long is my blog going to be in my life?”.  I doubt that I will blog for a lifetime, and I’m not sure how many more seasons I’ll be blogging for.  Back in the day, I used to act like this was an existential crisis or something.  T_T”  I simply wasn’t ready to end my blog back then.  Now though, I’ve gotten to the point where if I ever want to end this chapter in my life, I will.  If I ever feel that the season of blogging is over, I can my blog go.  Because I know that I’ve gone all the way, with no regrets.

Don’t freak out!  I’m not saying that I’m gonna stop blogging right now.  The time isn’t right.  There are still more things I want to write!  But if the time ever comes for me to end this season, I will be ready.

Thanks for reading,

-heisui 🙂

P.S.

I feel that this post is me telling myself, “You can do it!  All you have to do is start, just like you did 5 years ago.”

“The road is difficult, not because of the deep river and the high mountains that bar the way, but because we lose heart when we think of the river and the mountains.”

-Vietnamese saying

heisui

I'm heisui, an Asian drama blogger and the creator of My Drama Tea. I love stories and writing, so I watch dramas and blog. I especially have a penchant for Japanese and Chinese dramas, and those hidden gems that are waiting to be discovered. Oh, and I'm Legend of Zhen Huan-obsessed!
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  • Hi heisui! I’m Natsu (well technically Natalia, but Natsu is my nickname). I found your blog in the last week or so after googling/tumbling my Osozaki no Himawari feels after I finished watching it. I also recently followed you on Twitter~ I haven’t had time to go through many of your other posts, but I look forward to seeing what dramas you liked for when I’m looking for something to watch, and I also look forward to reading your thoughts about them. Just from reading this post, though, you seem like someone I would want to be friends with 😛

    It’s also interesting because you said in your post how “There’s a saying that people will come into your life for a reason, a season, or a lifetime.” I very recently learned about that saying from a good friend of mine. I definitely think that since your blogging is something that’s special and meaningful to you, you’ll always be able to look back on it positively (especially since it’s conveniently archived on the internet!).

    Anyway, greetings from a new follower! Håfa adai from Guam! ^^

    • Hello Natsu, thanks for commenting & following. It’s so cool you’re from Guam! 😉 I agree, as long as our hobbies are meaningful to us, they are worthwhile.

  • hello 🙂 I read your blog for some years , because just like you, I like to deeply anylize every drama that I watch and I always try to search different point of view from other people(since outside my internet life there’s not so much people who deeply anlyzed a drama; even there’s only a few who still watch j drama :'( ). And yes I fall in love with your blog. I love how you point out some details in drama. I love how you apreciate the drama that you watch.
    I think you and your blog are totallyy awesome!!
    :*

  • Hesui, I don’t remember now how I found your blog – looking for something on Legend of Zhen Huan, I think – but I have certainly enjoyed reading your posts on the dramas; seeing what you think about them is interesting and valuable. I don’t typically analyze them very much – I’m just enjoying the stories, characters, and trying to learn Chinese a little better – but now that I’ve watched more of them, I am starting to understand them better and see the common themes and situations, and know which ones are good and which are not. Your perspective on them definitely contributes to that! So thanks for your blog – I hope you will continue writing!

  • This was comforting to read. I’m one of those who hope you never stop blogging, but you know, what will happen will happen. Thanks for sharing honestly! 🙂

  • I’m actually amazed that you were able to keep blogging for years. I tried to blog for about two years and found that I didn’t enjoy writing about my hobbies much. I did like following your BBJX and Zhen Huan posts. I watched these dramas later than other people and I didn’t have anybody to talk to about it. Most of my friends like Korean dramas more. I only like probably two Korean dramas.

  • I really loved this post. Thank you for writing. Thank you for posting this. And thank you especially for that saying there at the end. It made my day ❤

  • Five years already? It’s an amazing milestone and a great time for pause and reflection. It’s amazing how time and experience changes your perspective and reasons. I was happy to discover your blog first during BBJX days and then finally talking over Love Forward when we were both watching it. You’ve become such an awesome drama-watching-and-blogging friend.

    I still won’t talk about blogging or Asian dramas in my real life. Of course…I’m not really close to a lot of people, so I don’t have anyone really to talk to about them, so thus why my blog exists. Of course, it was started as a way to learn WordPress and to get that skill set. Some big milestones, i.e. creating the blog, moving to self-hosting, were actually work-oriented. But me keeping at it is for myself. I never would have thought AAA would come as far as it has over the years. I’m glad we’ve met on both our journeys.

    I may not blog as consistently as I once did, but I have no plans of quitting just yet and am happy to hear neither do you. Here’s to many more blogaversaries!

    • Yeah I started in 2011, I think in the spring. You’ve come such a long way too!!! And you know so much about WP now, it really helped me a lot.

      Most of the people I told are familiar with dramas. So I think that helped.

  • Like any other hobby there’ll always be others who ‘understand’ it and others who don’t, so as long as you’re still enjoying it, then you should keep going. 🙂 And like you said, you’ve gained a lot from it, whether it’s improvement in writing, analysis, building a website, connecting with others… it takes a lot to keep it going for 5 years so great job! Your posts are always enjoyable to read.

  • I can relate to what you are saying. I enjoy blogging about Chinese dramas, films and food (bingetherapy.com) but also have to consider if I would be judged by others in my professional job. But it’s our passion, makes us happy and so why not? 🙂 I’m glad you continued, you have a lot of good content that’s fun to read!

  • Hei Heisui… Is everything okay with you? Your past two blogs have made me to worry about you.. My advice for you is this “Do what ever you want to do as long as it makes you happy. Life is too short to do otherwise”.
    As one of your loyal readers and fans, we will always support you no matter what…

  • I have the same worries as you used to have. I sometimes wonder if my hobbies are a waste of time. And yes, when deadlines are close and I have tons of work to do, I just leave them and watch some jdorama instead (I’m a chronic procrastinator haha).

    Thank you for writing this post, Heisui! It encourages me a lot.

    • Honestly some of the dramas that I watched were a waste of time, particularly the ones that I ended up dropping. But there are other dramas that were really memorable and meaningful, so don’t consider them to be a waste. Dramas may be an inefficient use of time if they’re getting in the way of our priorities done.

  • Hi heisui wow I could relate a hundred percent, from being too embarrassed to tell any friend abt my blog to outright refusing to give them a link. But like you, i have told a few and it did more good than bad.

    I enjoy your writing style a lot, very thorough and analytical, ur blog is pretty much what I hope mine can aspire to be as well..

    The title thew me off a bit but I’m glad you haven’t decided to stop. Keep up the good stuff 🙂

  • Hello hello old friend! 🙂 Hope you are doing well. I guess if I could even still call myself a drama blogger, I actually faced an opposite challenge. I used to think really analytically about dramas at first, but slowly I felt writing about them became a chore. And when something I enjoy starts to become a chore..I become unhappy and try to avoid engaging in it. Though i’m not so sure if i’ll go back to writing about dramas even though I’m actively still keeping up with them. I’m not a perfectionist, but I succumbed under the pressure I put on myself to be creative about the way I approached dramas and how i wrote about them. Unfortunately, the pressure I put on myself to think creatively + the low confidence I had in my writing + not having enough time to put into making posts regularly made me step away from drama blogging all together.

    These days the memories of writing posts and interacting with the community has been lingering in my mind..will I go back? Maybe. I’m not sure of it myself. I’m glad that even with a hiatus you have been able to stick around until now, and the things you have been able to accomplish will leave you with no regretful feelings if you do decide to leave. Going all out for something and having no regrets because at that moment in your life it was really important to you is something to be proud of. And also, that Vietnamese saying was definitely the icing on the cake for this post 🙂

    • Hey it’s great to hear from you! 🙂 I think that as writers we must always examine our motives for writing, and the impact our writing has on us. I feel like blogging is a continual journey; our writing grows with us and tells us things about ourselves. If our writing signals to us that it is time to stop blogging, then I suppose it’s time to stop. And if blogging ends up turning into stress and pressure, maybe it is not beneficial to continue until the issues behind the pressure/stress are resolved. It definitely takes courage to continue and courage to stop. If you ever want to return, I know your readers (me included) are ready to read more from you!

  • Hi! I enjoy your reviews. I usually hang on in Weibo, but it’s a pleasant surprise to find your blog when I searched for Nirvana in Fire on google. Hope you can keep it up 🙂

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-It took me a really long time, but I'm finally done with my end of the year 2016 dramas review! Check it out here. It includes Good Morning Call, Juhan Shuttai, Princess Weiyoung, Imperial Doctress, and so much more! Happy New Year!

-On an indefinite hiatus.

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