Heisui’s Thoughts: I wonder…

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“I’m not really a drama addict anymore, more like an occasional drama watcher now.” Someone wrote to me. Multiple Someones wrote this to me. “It’s more of a habit now. Not a love.”

“Yeah, I know what you mean.” I said. I gave my usual spiel: the drama slump, my dismal watching track record this year, and my waning interest in the currently airing shows. I talked about it as though it were a cycle that would soon end—I would find that next addicting drama. I would defeat my drama slump once and for all; victory is the only way out, I thought.  I could not afford to leave the slump any other way. But…

All in all, I would also say:

I wonder if I watch and write about dramas because of inertia.

I wonder if I will want to watch dramas when I am an 80-year old lady.

I wonder if, in my dying days, I will tell my family my big secret: *hoarsely whispers* “My….secret identity is Heisui…I…have a drama blog….tell my readers goodbye for meeee…”

I wonder if I will ever stop blogging.

I wonder what I would do if I were completely drama-less.

I wonder if all my efforts in blogging are futile.

I wonder if I am over-thinking this.

I wonder when “it” will end.

heisui

I'm heisui, an Asian drama blogger and the creator of My Drama Tea. I love stories and writing, so I watch dramas and blog. I especially have a penchant for Japanese and Chinese dramas, and those hidden gems that are waiting to be discovered. Oh, and I'm Legend of Zhen Huan-obsessed!
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  • My slumps come and go, but I’m used to them. Sometimes I go weeks and weeks without watching a single episode, but does it make me less of a drama fan? No. To me it’s part of my reality as a drama fan.

    Sometimes I just grow tired or a bit indifferent, but I don’t fret about it too much. It’s not about how many dramas I watch or how often. Sometimes there just aren’t many dramas that I enjoy watching, so I’ll just wait for the next one or watch an oldie instead. And yes, I don’t devour dramas in the quantities I used to, but it’s probably better if I don’t. I have more time for other things in life and I get more sleep. But it’s not something to get depressed about.

    Being an occasional drama watcher can be fun as well. You can still blog about them, perhaps even in more depth now that you have more time and energy to write. My drama-watching schedule isn’t as hectic now because I drop dramas that I don’t like and savour those that I do like. I don’t watch dramas daily anymore and instead watch them whenever I feel like it. And it’s fine. A couple episodes of a drama that I enjoy in a week is totally fine. And yes, a slump will come again and yes I’ll stop watching dramas for a while, but that doesn’t mean it’s the end of my drama addiction – it’s simply a new phase.

    My suggestion is, don’t stress about it. Watch when you feel like it and then the inspiration to blog shall come too. Or maybe just switch to movies for a change or even Western TV, once you’re away for a while you start to realize what you miss about dramas and it might get you back on track 🙂

    • That’s true. The plus side of the drama slump/not watching as many dramas is that I’m more selective when it comes to choosing dramas now. I only watched 1 jdrama for the spring season, but it was fulfilling for me + less time wasted on other dramas that I would’ve dropped anyways. For me the main downside of the slump is not having as much inspiration, like you said.

  • It’s weird- I’ll be honest I did a double take to make sure I’m on the right blog, reading the right blogger because I think this is the first time you’ve written with this introspective, low-key (more musing) tone. These thoughts – as you prolly know – used to run on my mind a LOT and constantly. I invest way too much time on blogging in general that I often feel like, “what’s the point? Is this really NOT wasting time …cos isn’t it still time wasted?” etc and drama-wise as well, especially since I’m not watching anything these days and for the past couple months… but you know, I think sometimes we overcomplicate things? Things are what they are. Interests come and go but just cos something’s gone does not mean the memories and experiences weren’t worthwhile. So I think- just enjoy the ride 🙂 Someday if not soon, take a break from either or both (blogging/dramas) and come back whenever you feel like the muse is back – basically, just follow your gut and reality check. Dramas will always be around and provided you don’t delete your blog, it will always be here too. People will understand (those who don’t are worth your time because hello, dramas aren’t RL).

    Cheering you on too!!

    PS Sorry for going MIA and intermittent, it’s been hectic – emotionally and physically aha. I’m trying to start anew perspectives-wise this week (starting from today) aka exude more positive vibes, hopefully this means I’ll be less stressed out and overwhelmed and just, all over the place. Thanks for sticking around me even through my tough times! (I’ll be around if/when you go on break, if you do, too :))

    • That’s the point of Heisui’s Thoughts, to be introspective and musing! 😛 Well yeah I tried to write a short and simple post this time. So that’s why my style may feel different here. 😉 True, I have a lot of fun memories and experiences with my blog & all the dramas I’ve seen. And I would’ve never known you if I weren’t a drama fan. Mind-boggling, really.

      Oh is your health ok?

      • I’m okay, just emotionally still hardcore adjusting haha but I’m trying to be more positive about this homecoming so hopefully I’ll be even better from today onward hahha 🙂

  • I TOTALLY understand how you feel. In fact, I’ve written a few such posts over the span of a few years. Mostly, I always wondered if I could keep on recapping even as I grow old. Just like you, thoughtsramble is my secret identity (heh) (so I laughed at your dying days statement)…so in the far future, I might not be able to keep on recapping dramas, since it will take up time and I cannot explain it to others.

    Anyway, I’m really honoured that you dropped by my wordpress:D Thanks for reading!

    • When I first started blogging, I had no idea if it would even last more than a month. I didn’t think at all “Will I keep on blogging for a life-time? How long will I watch dramas?”. Only when blogging became a long-term hobby did I start thinking about these kinds of questions.

  • As a drama blogger I think we all come into that “I wonder” phase. I haven’t been watching much of anything lately period. What have I been doing? I wonder…

  • I guess drama watching/blogging is like any other hobby, there’re some which sticks with us for a long time while other hobbies we grow out of or lose interest eventually. Do what you enjoy I say! Like Indigo said, even if you’re not watching Asian dramas there’s always Western TV which I go through phrases of as well lol.

  • Well, the slump is normal. We watch what we like. You will find drama that you truly like someday so don’t worry. I consider myself drama lover but I only watch the thing I like. I found Sherlock accidentally and love it. I also found Zhen Huan accidentally. Watching Zhen Huan is actually the reason why I agreed to my cousin’s plan to visit China last year.

    Also, trend comes and goes. Back when I was a child, Cheung Yao’s drama was all rage here. Then it changed to Mexico soap opera, then Princess Huan Zhu then Taiwan drama started from Meteor Garden to Korean drama. And now Indian historical/mythology drama.

    At this moment, I watch a lot of anime to familiarize myself with Japanese language since I’m going to Japan this year.

      • Osaka, Nara, Kyoto and Tokyo in order. I’m having difficulty with the itineraries. So many places with limited time. Harry Potter wizarding world, Dotonbori, Osaka castle in Osaka, Kiyomizudera temple in Kyoto, Disney Sea, Imperial Palace etc in Tokyo.

        I’m very excited too. Can’t wait for November to come. Autumn in Japan. Plus I can visit the places that I read in manga.

  • Hei, it never ends; you either love it or you don’t, and if you do then you come back to it time and time again.

    There’s always something new on the way ready to spark the interest again. For me, the new Deathnote drama has made me enthusiastic again. It’s so good you have no idea.

    But my guess is watching will always be a part of you, but the blogging will stop eventually as the time demands of life start increasing.

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-On an indefinite hiatus.

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