Heisui’s Thoughts: My old cringe-worthy posts

Heisui's ThoughtsOther

Whenever I think about my posts from the past, especially from the beginning of my blog (first started in 2011!), I cringe a little inside. I used to say really spazzy things like this:

From one of my Asuko March posts, written in 2011.  I had second lead syndrome ever since the beginning of time..

“GO TAMAKI!!!!!!!  [the second lead that I was hopelessly rooting for] GET THE GIRL!!!!  The camera then shows….Aruto!!!!  [the main male lead] He’s listening in on their conversation!!  OHOHO, now things are getting complicated!!”

Or this, from my first post about BOSS Season 1, written in 2012:

“Osawa Eriko is the kind of woman you look at and say “She’s the MAN!”  Even though her team is mismatched and she’s basically there as a figurehead, Osawa is all, WHATEVER, Imma go solve a case anyway!  Because she’s a BOSS like that.”

My overexaggerated comments on Gaiji Keisatsu: 

“Is this really a jdrama?  Is this even possible in the drama world?”

And this ‘hook’ that I wrote for HK-drama Tiger Cubs, also in 2012:



Part of what spurred me to write this post was, admittedly, that horrible line that I wrote about Gaiji Keisatsu, “Is this even possible in the drama world?”.  BLEGHHH!! WHY DID I WRITE THAT?  It made me instantly want to edit out that line, HAH.  (And I ended up setting it to private until I can write a new review for it someday..)  Ah yes, a lot has changed since 2011.  Now that I am in 2014, when I look back on my old posts from a couple years ago, or even from one year ago, I wonder just what was I thinking writing all of this?  =_=  I think about how much I have changed since 2011, how much my writing style and drama preferences differ from my original ones, and how my blog has sort of ‘evolved’ in a sense into what it is now…and to put it simply, I am not who I was in 2011.  Sometimes it bothers me when I read my old posts because of how much they fall short from my current writing standards.   A part of me sometimes wants to just set all of my old posts to private and be done with it.  But here’s the thing..not all of my ‘bad’ posts were ones that I would want to erase from my blog forever.  Seriously, just rereading my first review for The Legend of Zhen Huan (first started writing about it in 2012) makes me cringe, and that’s not even a super early post of mine, heh!  But there’s no way I would want to erase that review or hide it as ‘private’; the drama is still very important to me and is something I want represented on my blog.

No matter how much I dislike my old posts, I still put a lot of time and effort into them.  Even though they were rough, brief, and probably need tons of improvements, they still contain a lot of my initial thoughts of dramas that I was watching for the first time.  The first time you watch a drama is very important because it is an experience unlike any other rewatch will give you.  You are without any foreknowledge, without preconceptions about the characters and the stories (I’m not referring to remakes or dramas based on novels, I guess..).  You are always changing your views on the story and your perceptions of the characters.  These first impressions of the ‘first watch’ are really important to me because I can never completely re-experience them again, even during a rewatch.  I guess you could say that episodic reviews are kind of capturing the moment, or capturing my first thoughts on what I just saw.  In this sense, there is something that I could never recapture in my reviews even if I rewrote them or edited them.


..But at the same time, a part of me REALLY WANTS to go back and fix up my old posts, reformat them, reorganize all my images, etc.  I don’t want to let my old sucky posts remain any longer!  But this alternative to deleting or setting my posts as private means…EDITING THEM ALL!!!!!!  NOOOOOOOO!!!!!!! *runs away screaming*  The thought of editing hundreds of posts (425 posts as of now) and images (I don’t even want to know the exact number) is really daunting.  I wanted to make it my summer mission to somehow update all of my old posts and all, but I feel like it is an even bigger task than I thought it would be at first.  To reemphasize what I said in my drama blogging tips, ORGANIZE YOUR STUFF!  Don’t let it haunt you like it is haunting me now!!  😛

Anyways, I have no idea how or if I will manage to successfully update my old posts this summer.  I also have yet to make a strategy to accomplish this.  I will keep you posted on it if I manage to make progress. =_=


I'm heisui, an Asian drama blogger and the creator of My Drama Tea. I love stories and writing, so I watch dramas and blog. I especially have a penchant for Japanese and Chinese dramas, and those hidden gems that are waiting to be discovered. Oh, and I'm Legend of Zhen Huan-obsessed!
MOZU (Season 1): Eps 3-6
Anticipated jdramas: Summer 2014
  • At least 400+ isn’t as bad as the 1500 I have! Of course, my editing was more to fix the broken images from two host moves, but I did also fix some horrible errors as well. I’m about halfway through my last year of posts that need serious fixing.

    We all change and evolve and there is nothing wrong with realizing how much so. Though the posts might make you cringe now, they show your beginnings and how you’ve evolved over time which isn’t necessarily a bad thing.

  • I know what you mean about old writing. I was a complete videogame addict when I was in highschool and I wrote a number of reviews for a bunch of websites that don’t exist anymore (that was back in the late 90s when the internet was just really starting to get big) and thank GOD that they don’t! I was looking back at my review of Final Fantasy 7 that I still have with me and dear God it’s sad. It was just a 100% fanboy spazzfest.

    But it’s kind of fun in a way to see where you came from and how you thought of things at the time. Even though I was a frothing fanboy it’s true to how I was when I wrote it. To go back and change it would almost be like denying my own process. I vote that you don’t update any of your old posts and instead cherish them for what they are.

  • I tend to agree with NeeNee & Colin. 🙂 And you’re right – you can never relive those initial thoughts, good or bad. It’s a record of a specific time and place when you first watched it. Even those fangirling moments are endearing – I guess it’s getting harder to find those squee-generating dramas. Maybe writing follow up posts / rewatch would be good.

    Plus I love your description of Tiger Cubs LOL.

    • Hmm follow-up posts are another good option. *w* What did you do with your old blogs that you have?

      Omg I know, what’s even funnier is that I can actually remember when I was writing that post, LOL. What was I thinking..

      • My livejournal is still around, it has like my worst, fangirly nonsense ever. All of my tennis related reports were just ‘OMG I saw XYZ today, he was practicising shirtless and I took a zillion of photos.’ Brilliant insights LOL.

        But then I miss the crazy times!

  • lol nothing to be ashamed of at all DearH! haha I so got what is in the works for Tiger Cub in 10 exclamations!!!!!!!!!! hahaha …I should just go ahead and delete my entire blog then. XD

  • This is a helpful post for those who has a phobia in starting their blog about dramas. I guess a reason for some fans whom don’t blog cause they fear of writing. I had a tvb blogger who don’t feel comfortable adding a blogroll cause she’s scared of others reading her reviews in public.

    • Everyone can improve their writing with time. It’s kind of unconscious, like you only realize it until you look back and compare your old posts to your current ones, hehe.

  • Heisui.. You know as much as I love your drama recaps, I love your personal post (Heisui’s thoughts) even more…
    It’s simply authentic and very original…
    Since I am a new baby, I never thought of re editing my old posts.. 🙂
    Maybe, for me… blogging is never about showing “quality writing stuffs”.. For me, it’s just to say something I can never say out loud…
    Btw, don’t you have any drama which makes you go “crazy”?

    • Thanks Anne, you always encourage me. 🙂 Do you mean crazy in a bad way or in a good way? 😛 Lately I don’t think I’ve had any dramas that are making me go super crazy. I’ve been more moderate I guess, heh?

  • Oh no, don’t edit any of your old posts Heisui! 🙂
    I know it is very, very tempting (the perfectionist in me understands you completely) but I think “old cringe-worthy posts” are also part of the charm. It’s like a “how My Drama Tea became My Drama Tea”. 😉 Ok, I make no sense, I’m super tired, I can’t “think” in english right now. xD Anyway, it is always interesting to note your evolution as a blogger (what you did, what you won’t do, and what you still do…(, and I agree with everyone above : your old posts may not reflect you right now, but it did reflected you some times ago, and – I think – this is precious!

    Are you on summer break already (don’t know if I use the right word ><)? I hope you are, and I hope you're fine. 🙂

    • You are so sweet Kaa, thank you! :3 Yes I am on summer break now and I have plenty of time to catch up on dramas, bwahahaha. Comment va tu? Je vois que tu ne regardes pas beaucoup beaucoup de drames recemment.

      • I’m fine but I really wish I were on summer break. ><
        You're right, I don't watch a lot of dramas recently, partly because I don't have time at all, partly because I'm a bit of a slump (why do I have the feeling that I've been saying that for an eternity?^^")…
        Have a very nice summer then, full of dramas and blogging! 😀

        • Aw. X_X J’espere que tu peux te relaxer! Moi je pense que je suis aussi en ‘slump,’ mais pas un mauvias ‘slump’. Je regardes des bons dramas cette saison. But it still feels a bit different from before? o_o

  • Writing improves with time and I can significantly feel it while reading through my earlier posts when I didn’t really know what to do and the latest posts of mine. I feel that in a year later, I’ll be cringing at those “latest post” of now. There’s so many sensei in drama-blogging sphere and it’s intimidating in a way as my writing feel so inferior to some of the senseis, haha! But it’s fine, one of my main motivations to blog is to improve my English writing skills.

    It may be an embarrassing past but those are the evidence of improvement and truly, you sound so cute and young back then, hahaha! There’s nothing wrong with fangirling over a drama/character/actor/actress, once a fangirl, forever a fangirl (< I inserted some cheese into my line).

    • I agree, sometimes even reading a more recent post can show improvements that can be made. I think your writing quality is really good though, keep it up! :3

      I feel old now when I compare my current self to my young fangirling spazzy self, HAHA.

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