Bu Bu Jing Xin: Ep 33
Obviously, after episode 32, there is no way that episode 33 is happy. It’s anything but happy. There’s LOTS AND LOTS OF ANGST, so don’t say I didn’t warn you. Sorry for the lack of updates, but this is such a weighty, huge episode that it’s hard to write it all out. That and I don’t even want my BBJX recaps to end. :'(
4th stands in shock after the big reveal. He tells her to shut up, but Ruo Xi continues to push all the blame onto herself:
“It’s me! I hurt you and harmed you. The person who caused all this was me. The person you hate is standing in front of you right now.”
4th barely keeps himself under control as he quietly repeats “Get out”. He finally yells “Get out” for the last time.
13th, still the greatest friend ever, walks back with Ruo Xi. The confrontation takes another toll on Ruo Xi, as she begins to clutch her heart. The pain is too much, and Ruo Xi collapses right in front of 13th.
Ruo Xi is almost on the brink of death, since we see her hallucinating almost in a dream-like unconscious state. She’s up in the clouds, and sees Qiao Hui calling her back. Ruo Xi thinks to herself,
“I have nothing. I don’t have Jie Jie, I don’t have Yu Tan…I’ve also lost 4th prince. I have nothing already.”
She wakes up, only to see loyal 13th hovering by her side. AWW!! Right when Ruo Xi is in despair, 13th is there to greet her back with a reassuring smile. I LOVE THESE TWO!!!
“I don’t blame you at all…if there is hate, I can just hate destiny that made a fool out of us. Ruo Xi, promise me that you won’t give up…”
Ruo Xi smiles and weakly tells him how happy she is. 13th cutely says that he’s also happy to have her as a friend. Ruo Xi takes his hand and writes the characters for “14th” on his palm. He asks if there’s something she wants to tell 14th. She nods and makes the “OK” hand motion. AHHHHHHH THIS IS SO NOSTALGIC AND MELANCHOLY!!!!
13th doesn’t quite understand what she means. Ruo Xi only says “I agree”. 13th doesn’t ask any further, and agrees to pass on the word to 14th in exchange for Ruo Xi’s promise not to give up.
14th gets the message from 13th. AHH I MISS 13TH AND 14TH!!! 14th is obviously surprised to finally get the ok from Ruo Xi after waiting for years. 13th asks what she means, but 14th is like, I got this bro, let me handle it.
“Everything is for Ruo Xi.”
4th broods over his dilemma with Ruo Xi. The Empress asks why 4th hasn’t visited Ruo Xi in a while when it clearly hurts him not to see her. She consoles him, speaking up on Ruo Xi’s behalf. Everything that she says makes sense…she points out that Ruo Xi wasn’t even in love with him at the time, and that she was part of 8th’s estate, etc. etc.
Empress: “..your Majesty should understand her, understand her honesty, her sincerity.”
4th: “I know that she is sincere, but to save them, she decided to hurt me. Everything I did for her, she didn’t understand at all. She did not understand.”
Ahhh I love how the empress is able to offer him such solid advice, all the while maintaining a gentle disposition.
Ruo Xi, Qiao Hui, and some other maids overlook the Forbidden City. Ruo Xi apologizes to Qiao Hui for bringing her to the palace, to experience the same things she’s experiencing. Ruo Xi sadly looks up…
“Look. The sky outside is the real sky. Being in the palace, I have always just been a passerby.”
I love this scene because it reminds us how trapped and isolated Ruo Xi feels in the palace. She’s always wanted her freedom and independence, and being in the Forbidden City restricts and suffocates her.
We switch over to the royal court. 14th waltzes in with his marriage decree, issued by the FORMER EMPEROR. He asks for 4th’s approval of a certain marriage…TO MAERTAI RUO XI!!!!!!! AHHHHHHHHHH AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! 4th looks at the decree, which is sealed with the former emperor’s own seal. OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH SNAP. Both 14th and 4th know that 4th is in a huge predicament. Thankfully 4th doesn’t explode, but if I were 14th, I would run away like the wind.
Poor 13th had no clue that the message he helped pass on would inevitably result in the final divide between 4th and Ruo Xi. Ruo Xi asks what he thinks 4th will do. He reasons that if 4th was able to divorce Ming Hui and 8th, then he should also be able to prevent this marriage. Ruo Xi slyly says that if he could disobey this posthumous decree..then he could also disobey ANOTHER posthumous decree…AKA THE ONE WHEN THE FORMER EMPEROR NAMED HIS SUCCESSOR. OOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. 13th will not let Ruo Xi say such things about 4th.
13th: Ruo Xi, is it really impossible for everything to go back to normal?
Ruo Xi: It’s impossible to go back to the past. Yu Tan died, the child is gone. You were in solitary confinement for 10 years…These all stand between us. We cannot pretend that nothing has happened. Right now, I just want to leave.
Ruo Xi says that she didn’t know 14th had the royal decree, but that if marriage is the only way out, she’s willing to go to that extent.
“I trust that 14th prince will not force me. I marry him in name only.”
13th shakes his head after hearing the “in name only” part. How ironic that Ruo Xi, who was so adamant about marrying only for love, now must marry in name only for the sake of escaping the palace.
4th asks 13th if Ruo Xi really cannot bear to live in the palace anymore. 13th cautiously replies that Ruo Xi might not be meant to live here, because her mind is unlike everyone else’s.
4th: “Could it be that she is not from the same era as us?”
Suddenly 4th remembers when Ruo Xi told him “I’M NOT FROM THIS TIME PERIOD” and puts two and two together. He says to himself that it can’t be, but then bursts out
“So what if she isn’t from our time period. Is there a difference?”
13th can only look down in reply.
I LOVE THIS SCENE!!! Every scene with the Empress in it is so beautifully done!! Ruo Xi and the empress go walking out in the garden. The empress carefully asks Ruo Xi if she could consider letting go for the emperor, so that they [4th and Ruo Xi] can both live together for the rest of their lives.
Ruo Xi: I don’t want to harm anyone, but someone gets hurt because of me…I cannot accept that.
Empress: Can you really bear to leave the emperor? Can you truly let go of all those feelings during these past years?
Ruo Xi: I can’t, but I still have to.
The Empress doesn’t criticize Ruo Xi at all. She gently leaves Ruo Xi with a small bit of advice–to think it over well and to only decide once she’s absolutely sure.
The doctor informs Ruo Xi that her life expectancy is only a few more years at the most.
8th talks alone with 4th. He tells 4th EVERYTHING about his past relationship with Ruo Xi. 4th listens to the entire story while clenching his fists. Omg everything’s gonna boil over at this rate…first the big reveal, second the marriage decree, and lastly 8th’s relationship with Ruo Xi. 8th has GUTS!!!!!
After hearing the whole truth about Ruo Xi & 8th, 4th visits Ruo Xi with a somber, detached look on his face. 4th is now distant and harsh towards Ruo Xi.
“I finally understand why you could never let go of 8th. I’ve understood why you had him take precaution against me. When he was kneeling in the hall, you were accompanying him in the temple.”
Ruo Xi asks if 9th was the one to tell him this. 4th replies he actually wishes it were…but it was 8th. He quietly tells her about all her happy memories with 8th. He gets to Ruo Xi and 8th’s vow to be together forever..when Ruo Xi begins crying and begs him not to say any more. 4th looks at Ruo Xi with this heartwrenching look of disbelief and hurt.
“When he was telling me all these, I said that over and over again in my heart, but I could only listen on. I could only listen to it! Do you know how that feels like? Do you know how hurt I am? So it’s true that words can kill a person. What 8th brother said is like a knife stabbing me one by one.”
And 4th starts LAUGHING while he cries. OMGGGGGGG. Ruo Xi reaches toward 4th’s face. Since 4th is hurting, she’s hurting too, and she desperately wants to comfort him. But 4th grabs her hand instead of letting her touch his face, and pushes her away.
“I won’t allow you to touch me anymore. I said before that the only thing I’m afraid of is that you will leave me. Right now, I’m not afraid of anything.”
He leaves Ruo Xi crying her heart out.
4th grants 14th the marriage with Ruo Xi. Before an altar, Ruo Xi recites a poem she wrote:
“I knew him before I met him, but now meeting is as good as not seeing each other. Cutting off ties with the Emperor in order to kill ourselves with longing.”
It’s finally Ruo Xi’s last day in the Forbidden City. Ruo Xi leaves by a horse-drawn carriage. 4th watches the carriage leave as he cries to himself. 4th reaches behind his back to grab his braid. He brings it in front of him, and looks at it while recalling how Ruo Xi grabbed his braid. He grips it and cries.
13th accompanies Ruo Xi on her way out. He offers her a drink, reminiscent of their first meeting and the start of their friendship.
8th appears to bid Ruo Xi farewell. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. THIS IS SUCH A PERFECT SCENE, OMG. Ruo Xi slowly walks out to meet 8th. 8th walks toward her.
Ruo Xi bows and thanks him for helping her leave the palace. 8th modestly says that he had his own desires, but then goes on to say that 14th will definitely treat her well, and that his house will be good for her health.
“Treat everything in the past as dead, and from now, it’s a new beginning.”
Ruo Xi asks if there’s anything he wants to say to 14th.
“My end is near, there’s nothing left to be said.”
8th goes on to say the MOST PERFECT LITTLE SPEECH EVERRRRRRRRRRR.
“You know what I’m thinking. Since you know, you will be able to understand. No hard feelings. In this lifetime, we are not fated. Whatever it is, we’ll leave it to the next.”
8th gets teary, and tells her to go. She bows again and turns to leave. Suddenly Ruo Xi tearfully thinks to herself that she might not ever see 8th again. She turns around and runs to hug 8th.
8th is taken aback at first, but he gently pats her on the back. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.
“Forget about the palace, forget about all of us.”
He wipes Ruo Xi’s tears, joking that she needs to look more like a bride, so she should stop crying. Ruo Xi does her best to put on a smile for 8th. 8th is still teary, but he keeps himself together and tells her to quickly go. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. 13th wonders why 8th told 4th everything, without sparing a thought for Ruo Xi. Ruo Xi clarifies that 8th did that to make 4th let go, and to let her leave the palace. 13th looks back at 8th,
“It seems he’s still the virtuous 8th prince who values his relationships.”
They ride away in the carriage, leaving behind 8th. Ruo Xi catches one last glimpse of 8th as they ride away. SO SAD!!!!
Time for the last goodbye….TO 13TH. NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO. Both of them don’t really know how to handle this last goodbye. They get it done and over with as quickly as they can, probably because if they didn’t, it would be even more painful for them.
13th: “When the grass is green next year, old friend will no longer look the same.
Ruo Xi: The sea holds our closest friends, and the ends of the earth are our neighbors.”
13th grabs Ruo Xi in a short hug. He simply tells her to take care, and then pulls away. Ruo Xi quickly gets in the carriage and rides away, all the while crying in Qiao Hui’s arms.
Was that a tear-jerker or what? So much happened that I don’t even know what to say first.
Ruo Xi’s decision to leave
How ironic was it that right after 13th makes Ruo Xi promise not to give up..she escapes through 14th? Anyway, there’s lots of controversy over whether Ruo Xi’s decision was right or not. It’s really hard to say. We’ve got to remember that Ruo Xi must’ve agonized over this decision…I mean, it’s not just switching where she lives…it’s leaving behind all the princes, her best friend, and her LOVER. Is it running away? In a way..yes. I think a lot of people wanted Ruo Xi to just stay and duke it out, but the truth is that going back to the past is impossible. (more irony right there!) She can’t return to the way she was before, when things were all good with 4th. Now that she knows the truth, her love with 4th has truly become tragic. I think the weight is too much to bear for Ruo Xi. It’s her call when to say “Out” when things are just too much for her to bear.
The sad thing is that Ruo Xi will always bear the blame herself, because she refuses to let others share the blame.
4th’s reaction to Ruo Xi’s revelation and marriage
Again, this is probably a matter of perspectives/time periods because from a modern point of view, Ruo Xi’s past relationship with 8th is no big deal. She had a boyfriend in the past, BEFORE SHE FELL IN LOVE WITH YOU…SO WHAT? But from 4th’s view it’s completely different, 1) because of the time period 2) because of his disdain for 8th. 4th’s pushing Ruo Xi’s hand away was a HUGE GESTURE. Ruo Xi has ignored 4th countless times when they fought, but 4th has never ignored her like that. See how much it hurt Ruo Xi. It really made me wonder how much Ruo Xi’s ignoring 4th must’ve hurt.
Nicky Wu really nailed all the scenes in this episode. My favorite is when he watches her leave.
8th, a hero in the end
Yes, I believe 8th became a hero in the end. 8th knew Ruo Xi wanted out, so he helped her get out by sacrificing himself. Some, like 13th initially thought, might think that 8th just messed things up by making 4th hate Ruo Xi. But even Ruo Xi herself understands that 8th was actually helping her fulfill her wish. I really liked the part when 13th calls 8th a noble prince. Yes 8th has fallen from his high status, but he’s still the same virtuous prince we once knew him to be.
Ruo Xi’s marriage to 14th
The sad thing is that this is exactly what Ruo Xi didn’t want in the first place–a marriage out of necessity, not out of love. Ruo Xi’s love for 14th is a childhood friends kind of love. 14th’s love for Ruo Xi has leaned more toward the protector/older brother kind, but I’m sure he loves her all the same.
I love love love the empress and I’m sad she won’t get anymore scenes. T_T Yes, this is 4th and Ruo Xi’s love story but…I kinda wish we could see more of 4th when he’s away from Ruo Xi as well.